Well, where to even begin. 2016. What a motherfucker of a year, am I right, boys and girls? It was year that saw some incredible music released and even more tragedy in the loss of some incredible musicians and the election of a psychotic, right-wing asshat to the Presidency of the United States of ‘Murica!
But, we are here to look back and chime in our fave releases of the past 12 months. So, always remember that this is just one metalhead’s opinion. But, it’s the only one you should respect and follow!
10. Whitechapel: Mark of the Blade
Out of Knoxville, Tennessee, Whitechapel once again prove that with the release of this album they are worthy of getting up on the porch with the big dogs. When they’re huge? Remember King Rhino called it here first. Buy it here!
9. Tower: Tower
My old stomping grounds of New York City are represented here by Tower. Fronted by the charismatic Sarabeth Linden, this band plays Big Apple metal the way it should be: fast, dirty, sexy and hard as a mofo! Buy it here!
8. Picaporters: El Horror Oculto
I have loved these magnificent bastards for years. Some day the rest of the world will know of the glory that is Argentina’s Picaporters. Imagine of Black Sabbath were to be born today in South America with the same killer riffs, same heavy mass of sound, but just sung in Spanish. Buy it here!
7. Crowbar: The Serpent Only Lies
The Serpent Only Lies another heavy dose of Louisiana sludge metal from the legendary Crowbar. This is the metal equivalency of slow moving lava. Once it overtakes you, it consumes you. Buy it here!
6. Superjoint: Caught Up in the Gears of Application
The second of two NOLa bands on my list, Caught Up in the Gears of Application is the long-awaited album from the one and only Superjoint. This record has everything you love about this band: Phil Anselmo vocals, the brutal guitar bludgeoning of Jimmy Bower and Kevin Bond, and songs that hit you like a boot to the balls. Buy it here!
5. Testament: Brotherhood of the Snake
Testament are the heavy metal equivalency of the Grateful Dead, and Brotherhood of the Snake is another quality album from Chuck and the Boys. Kudos! Buy it here!
4. Metallica: Hardwired … To Self-Destruct
They made us wait eight years for an album? Lucky for us it is fucking amazing! Buy it here!
3. KoRn: The Serenity of Suffering
Dear KoRn, Thank you from the bottom of my nut sack for returning to everything I fell in love with when I discovered you. Buy it here!
2. Charred Walls of the Damned: Creatures Watching Over the Dead
Well, it was a real nailbiter between Charred Walls of the Damned and Scorpion Child for the top spot. But, Richard Christy and his boys should feel no disgrace in making the second position on my list. Creatures Watching Over the Dead is an incredible album from beginning to end. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, this should be in every true headbanger’s collection. Buy it here!
1. Scorpion Child: Acid Roulette
What can I say … nothing but love for mi hermanos from Austin, Texas in Scorpion Child. Acid Roulette is a stellar follow-up to their debut. It has heavy riffs, ethereal metal vocals, and it is a kickass concept album, as well. Buy it here!
Surgeon, Beast of Light; Worm Ouroboros, What Graceless Dawn; Skeleton Wolf, Skeleton Wolf; Cane Hill, Smile; and Red Fang, Only Ghosts.
Metal DVD of the Year
Motorhead : Clean Your Clock “We are Motorhead. And, we play rock and roll.” And, no one has ever done it better, Mr. Kilmister. No one. Buy it here!