My Metal New Year’s Resolutions


My Metal New Year’s Resolutions

Ringing in the New Year in my awesome Hypoxia shirt at Duff’s Brooklyn.

You’ve heard it all before — “I resolve to lose those last 10 pounds,” “I resolve to eat right,” “I resolve to be kind to my fellow man,” and so on and so forth. Well, I started losing weight before 2012, I already have a taste for healthy food, and being kind is for losers. What’s left for a surly metalhead like me? I didn’t want to be left out of this New Year’s resolution ritual, so I decided I’d come up with a nice short list of the metal-est goals I want to accomplish this year. Here goes:

1. Go to more shows, local and otherwise.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, my financial situation took a turn for the worse. As a result, I missed out on seeing a lot of great shows last year. My friends IKILLYA headlined a show at The Knitting Factory in Brooklyn to close out 2011, and I did the responsible thing and stayed home to catch up on sleep and make sure I could pay my electric bill. I missed the Horns Up Rocks Dimebag tribute show at Trash Bar in Brooklyn, the Eyes Like Cyanide EP release show, and countless others, for one monetary reason or another. I resolve to increase my concert budget so I can support my local brothers and sisters, but also so I never have to make a choice between seeing Judas Priest or Megadeth ever again. On a TOTALLY unrelated note, see you guys at Gigantour (I’m so sorry, Mr. Halford)!

2. Mosh more.

Moshing is the metal-est form of exercise, and exercise is good for the mind, body, and soul. Not only is it a great way to burn off overpriced venue beer, you can also make new friends by moshing. I’ve met at least five people by bumping around with them in a decent pit. Being a woman in a pit can get annoying sometimes (raise your hand if you’ve had a guy either go easy on you because he thinks you’re a fragile delicate flower or bump you as hard as he possibly can to scare you out of the pit), but with the right people, it’s a lot of fun. No more hovering around the bar for me in 2012!

3. Stop procrastinating.

There’s a reason this article about New Year’s resolutions was posted on January 2.

4. Be more open-minded.

In 2011, after years of disdain for Iron Maiden and their insufferable fans, I heard an Iron Maiden song in the Metal Gods room of Turntable that I didn’t hate. A Christian hardcore song actually tickled my fancy a little. Red Fang and Dozer introduced me to the joys of stoner metal. After discovering Christian Mistress and PSYCHO, I made it a point to view “female-fronted” as a fact rather than a genre. My horizons will only get broader in the coming year, and I look forward to discovering all kinds of great bands in genres I never gave the time of day.

5. Listen to enough new releases this year to make an adequate “Best of 2012” list.

While I’m not exactly a metal n00b, I’m new enough to metal that I’m constantly discovering bands that are old as dirt. In 2011 alone, I fell in love with Exodus, Saxon, and Motörhead. After spending the majority of my time listening to NWOBHM and early ’80s thrash, I sat down about two weeks ago to write a nice spiffy Best of 2011 list for HearEvil. As it turns out, there were only eight 2011 releases that I’d heard at all, and only four that I enjoyed — hardly enough for a list. Of course, I loved Megadeth’s TH1RT3EN and Toxic Holocaust’s Conjure And Command (I won’t go that far into what I hated, but Turisas, what the hell?!), but how can I rank them with only six other albums to compare them to? I’ll make my goal realistic — one new release per month, at least. After that, I’ll treat myself to all the Sabbath I can handle.

What are your metal New Year’s resolutions? What are your NON-metal New Year’s resolutions? Tell us all about them if you dare!